“She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.” Proverbs 31:18
Something has been weighing heavily on my heart. We are supposed to be the “light of the world.” In a world full of darkness, my lamp is not supposed to “go out at night.” Again, in Matthew 5:14-16, Jesus tells us that we are supposed to let our light shine before men. And again, in Matthew 25:1-13, Jesus uses the metaphor of the oil lamps of the prepared staying lit all night, because they were prepared though they did not know the day or the hour. I’ve been wanting so badly to share my experiences with Christ and last night something amazing happened…
For some reason, it’s really difficult for me to talk to my husband about my faith. I don’t understand why; I can talk easily to any one else in my family about it, especially my brother-in-law. But for some reason or another, It’s always been difficult for me to have faith discussions with my husband. Anyway, I had been praying for weeks for God to give me an opportunity; to make it easier to talk with my husband about where we both are in our walk with Christ, and to be able to figure out how I can help him grow closer to God. Last night, God used a weakness, a temptation to open the doors to His Word. The more time I spend reading and studying, and meditating on the Bible each day, the more I am able to recognize God working in my life. And as I was sitting on the couch last night, listening to my husband talk to me about his faith, with tears in our eyes, all I could think was, “Thank you God, you’ve done it in a way that I would never have imagined.”
When it’s time for bed, I always turn off the lamp, pray, steal a good-night kiss, and then drift off to sleep. Last night, for the first time in my marriage of almost 2 years, I was able to pray out loud. I prayed for my husband, I prayed for our friends, I prayed that God would give us strength, guidance and wisdom as we went about our daily lives; I prayed that the Marines around Mitch would not have an influence on him, but rather that he have an influence on them; that they would be able to see more of Christ in him, than himself in him. As I prayed, I marveled at how God had opened that door for me. I didn’t feel embarrassed, or shy, or nervous… I just held my husband’s hand, and I prayed. And I slept better last night than I ever have.
And the thing that has been heavy on my heart is the lack of involvement I have with other Christians, and more than that, people who don’t know God, but to whom I could show God’s love. And I had the idea this morning (or rather God’s been planting seeds of thought all night) to start a small group Bible study. Honestly, not many of Mitch’s marine friends strike me as willing to participate, but I bet you I could get them to come over for a free hot meal one night a week. Plus it would be a great way to meet them, and have a time of fellowship without it being at one of the seemingly thousands of bars/strip clubs in the Jacksonville area…(which I would not have frequented anyway)
I just feel like I have so much to share with the people around me and it’s not like I have anything keeping me from doing it. Nothing but apprehension, and as far as that goes,
13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. ‘Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.’ 15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
1 Peter 3:13-16
(I just found out my husband reads my blog! awesome! I love you babe.)