“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her lips.” Proverbs 31:26
I’ve recently had a lot of people tell me I’m “wise beyond my years”… I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do with that. I don’t necessarily (btw- still have to use spell check to correctly spell “necessarily”) think I’m wise or have wisdom… I simply like to think things through with logic. My logic is different from that of other people… What I mean by that is, I have a very philosophical, hypothetical, theoretical mindset. I look at things in terms of their potential consequences, and possible outcomes, worst and best case scenario. By “knowing” the best and worst possible outcomes, I can aim for something in the middle. Most other logical people I know are more mathematically logical… and that’s never been me. I feel like I just confused some people, so for example, let’s take last night…
Mitch and I purchased a 75 lb heavy bag (it was on sale!!!!!!!) and it came with a pair of gloves (for him, I already have my own) and a set of pads. Anyway, we walked into the store, and Mitch was like, “Hey, the giant exercise balls are on sale… you want one?”
And here is the extent of my thought process that happens every time someone asks me a question… and they wonder why I stutter…
I looked at the exercise balls… there were 3 different sizes and colors. I then began to process the types of workouts that could incorporate the giant ball… crunches, leg lifts, planks, sit ups, push ups… Ok… But we were already getting the Ab Rocker EvolutionTM so that did sit ups, push ups, crunches, obliques, dips, leg lifts… Ok… So that takes care of the core workouts. Plus kickboxing with the heavy bag for upper and lower body… Why do I need a giant rubber ball taking up space in my house? The dogs would play with it… The Ab Rocker EvolutionTM is smaller, and easier to move… Move… that reminds me, where am I going to put all this stuff when we inevitably move?
Mitch looked at me with an exasperated expression… “DO. YOU. WANT. THE. BALL. OR. NOT!?”
“Um…no…no, I’m good with the rocker thing and the heavy bag.”
He loaded the cart with an exasperated sigh…
And that, ladies and gentlemen is the extent of the activity my brain works through in response to one simple question. Another example, also last night…
“Hey,” I said, “Mitch, will you help me make the bed?”
“*barely audible groans*”
“Okay. Take your end of the sheet and pull it up top.”
He took the sheet and pulled it up, but the pillow was already on the bed, so his side of the sheet was lopsided as compared to mine. I looked at him, wondering who taught him to make a bed… “No, you put the pillow on last! First you have to get the top sheet up and the same length on both sides; your side is covering a pillow so you clearly have more sheet on your side!”
“It’s not as if we’re going to sleep on it immediately after we make it or anything…” He replied with excess sarcasm.
“That’s not the point. The point is that the sheets have to be symmetrical, so you don’t hog them all, and so I don’t wake up freezing! Help me pull up the comforter.”
He pulled the comforter up to the top of the bed, and then turned back the sheets, and put his pillow back on the bed, open case end toward the middle! TOWARD THE MIDDLE!
“What? No, no, no… the open end of the case goes on the outside; symmetry! remember?”
“No, It goes on the inside. I don’t get why the both can’t just point to the right.”
“BECAUSE! the bed is made with mirrored symmetry! GEEZ…”
He wouldn’t consent to me flipping his pillow over, so I had to turn my pillow, open case side toward the middle… ugh…
Anyway, this is the kind of OCD behavior he deals with on a regular basis, and Mitch has figured out that if he does something the way I prefer it done, or the way I ask him to do it, he’ll be expected to do so from then on, so he messes up on purpose. (That’s my theory anyway…)
The point being I have my own sense of logic. And how that got interpreted as wisdom, I’ll never know. But this specific passage in Proverbs 31 always makes me think of my future hypothetical children… What will they learn from me? What habits, what quirks will they pick up? Will they be able to correctly make a bed? If I have anything to say about it, the answer is yes. They will learn what is acceptable by what I deem acceptable; by the way I conduct myself and the way my husband and I treat each other. I’m going to be honest, I didn’t always have the best examples to follow, specifically, while I was in high school. I’m hesitant to start a family. I want to make sure they see more of Christ in me, than ME in me… if that makes sense. I’ve been told if you wait till you think you’re ready, you’ll never be ready… But I don’t believe that is true, and here is why: I am waiting to bring another soul into this world, because I want to ensure that I’ve learned and gained enough wisdom to instruct it in the Word without the only reason being, “Because.” Sure, that answer suffices while they are really young, but I want my children to know why I live my life the way I do, and that living a life in Christ is the only way to live a truly fulfilled life. I want them to SEE my faith, not just be told about it. And I’m trusting God to let me know when I’m ready to make that leap of responsibility and commitment that is raising a child. But for now, I have my marriage to work on and strengthen. And that has to come first. Period.