Ok, I’m aware that I can be a stubborn individual. I prefer to call it being, “strong-willed, and determined.” I tend to be prideful at times. I like to call it being, “courageous and confident.” I know that I am naive and young. I like to call that “fresh and innovative.” I gloss over my faults and sell them as strengths. It’s like writing a resume… No one want’s to hire someone who is stubborn or prideful- they won’t work well with others. No one wants to hire someone who is naive and ignorant- they lack experience. But I realize that I’m not perfect. I don’t embody perfection in the least; but Christ does. And it is through him that my weakness becomes strength.
I prayed for a friend, God gave me Jaymie. I prayed for a house, he showed me Jaymie’s house. I prayed for the doors to be clearly marked, God showed me a perfect place, it went under contract, and then showed me Jaymie’s house again. Now I’m not saying that I have vast knowledge, but I’m not stupid enough to ignore the hints. The realtor we had begun working with through the whole looking process (before we discovered Jaymie’s house) has said that she’s looking out for us; that she’s got our best interest at heart. And I trust her. But at the same time, I see things that are contradictory to the information we’ve been given.
If you do a search on the properties around the house that we’re looking at, you can see the specs. of each home, the price for which it was last sold, and its current estimated value. All of the surrounding homes were built within the same year as the house in question, they all have on average, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. They all are just outside city limits so they have county taxes, which are cheaper. They are all on septic systems. They all have county water. They are all valued at least $3,000 more than the house in question. A call from my realtor shook my confidence in our decision to buy this house… She had said that there were brand new homes selling for the same price, that we’d have a difficult time selling, that we wouldn’t have any equity, and so on and so forth… But the thing is, we didn’t disclose all of our financial situation to the realtor. We intentionally kept our situation under wraps in our looking process so as not to be “sold” a house, but so that we could make a decision, based on what was best for us. We have prayed and prayed and prayed over this situation. We have asked God to take it from us and lead us where we should be. And in reading Not a Fan., I noticed that sometimes we have a tendency to make God our consultant rather than our God. We tend to ask his opinion and advice, then do what we want to anyway. I don’t believe that’s how my husband and I have handled this situation at all. Instead of making God our consultant, we’ve kept him as our God, letting him ultimately take us where we’re meant to go, and we’ve kept the realtor as a consultant.
To further prove that this matter is in God’s hands, I’ll recount a story for you. We had just agreed to buy the house from our friend when I got a call from the realtor. We explained the situation to her in her office later that week, and she actually advised us to look in to the house. After some further research on her part, she gave me another call. She gave some statistics from the house that she had gotten from the real estate data base and it made my brow furrow a bit. There were flaws in her findings. The house in fact has 3 bedrooms, not 2. The house has a 5-year-old roof, not a 20-year-old roof. There are in fact 2 bathrooms, not 1. And there are original hardwood floors in the bedrooms (which I have seen with my own eyes, while I was helping Jaymie rip up the old carpet!) I had knowledge that the realtor did not. How did this happen? Why did this happen? Was it because she has a listing for the same asking price? Because that listing would have put us an hour away from base and church; that’s no good. Was it because the owners hadn’t put their home on the market yet, so the information had not been updated? Possibly. The realtor said she was worried that both buyer and seller may be getting in over our heads by not having a realtor to represent us. And maybe she’s right; maybe we’re all novices here and none of us know what we’re doing. But I do know that God knows what He’s doing. I do not believe he would have led us to this house if it was not the best thing for us.
I suppose my purpose in telling you all this today is that I did question my decision. I did falter in my determination, and I did sway in my courage; but then I looked to God. I prayed, “Lord, I know that you will always lead us to what is best for us in accordance to Your will. We fully surrender this situation into Your hands. God, I just ask you now to affirm our decision; if we’re making a mistake, shut the door so tightly that we cannot shove it open. Lead us to where we belong.”
That was my prayer. I trust that God would not have lit the way with green arrows and blinking signs if it weren’t the best thing for us. And even if it is not, and we are somehow being mislead and deceived, I trust that God will take care of us and work it our for the good of his purpose. I’m letting go. It’s up to God. If this is right, we will sign the contract, there will be no issue with obtaining the mortgage, and everything will go smoothly. If not, then we’ll know it’s not for us. Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for today… I best be working on some laundry and dishes now!