“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27
The affairs of my household have just become increasingly complex. And I confess, I may have nibbled upon the bread of idleness. Okay, I munched that bread down and washed it back with some chocolate procrastination milk. Not because I was intentionally choosing not to complete my daily household tasks, but more because I have no choice but to wait on conditional circumstances. I took advantage of that situation.
I admit that this whole buying a house thing is beginning to take its toll on my sanity. When I start to get overwhelmed, I find my butt gets planted on the couch, and I start trolling Facebook for entertaining posts as a way of putting off thinking through the bog of financial obligation and commitment into which we’re about to lunge. And in my defense, it works as a distraction and I’m able take my focus off the “pressing issues” and give my brain a moment of frivolity in an otherwise stressful process.
But today, as I was going over the mortgage packet and crunching the numbers, I was starting to feel Dread creep up my spine and try to choke out my brainstem. But I didn’t let it. Fortunately, my brainstem (and everything else) belongs to God. So I flipped open my Bible to Matthew 6:25-34. God has it under control. I don’t need to worry about where the money is going to come from, because God will provide a way for us. All we have to do is tighten the belt a little and we’ll be fine. And then the dream I had what seems like ages ago came back to me…
Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
All God asks of me is that I remain steadfast; faithful to his Word, and committed to living a life in righteous pursuit of his Son, Jesus Christ. He asks that I seek him in devotion and prayer. This world doesn’t matter; God will deal with the details. What he wants of me is faithfulness and service. And as long as I continue to live that, the rest will be “added unto me.”
I have to remind myself of this periodically. I tend to forget that I have my Heavenly Father laying out the plans and foundations for this life. I forget that it’s not up to me to control things. I forget that in surrendering my life to Christ, I’ve been given the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me in all that I do, so that worry, anxiety, dread, and fear no longer have a place in my life.
I’ve recently taken to “spiritual breathing,” with an exhale, confessing my sins to God, the very minute they occur to me- including sins of omission, as well as commission. And with my inhale breath, I ask God to fill me with the Holy Spirit, and lead me away from temptation; the temptation to be anxious, or the temptation to seize control from God. And I’ve found it works to keep me in line with what God wants for me.
You know how “they” say that the key to a good relationship is communication? Well, “they,” whoever “they” may be are right; and we’re foolish to think that the same doesn’t apply to our relationship with God. We have to communicate in prayer with Him if we want a successful relationship. We have to be patient and seek him if we are to hear his answers. And we have to ask for the wisdom to know when God’s telling us to wait, and the discernment to know the difference between our will and God’s. The Serenity Prayer comes to mind:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.