Category Archives: PTSD Awareness

My Ponderings

My Ponderings

“May integrity and uprightness protect me because my hope is in you.” Psalm 25:21

Well, I made a recent discovery that when Dave Matthews Band is playing in the background, I tend to think more deeply profound thoughts. I think it’s the syncopated rhythms and incorporation of violin and saxophone into rock music. Whatever it is, I like it.

Anyway, I was reading my devotional on integrity and an interesting point came up while I was reading 1 Peter 3:13-15:

Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? [14] But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. ‘Do not fear what they fear, do not be frightened.’ [15] But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.

Peter in essence just said there, that the opposite of fear is faith. Because we have faith in Christ, we are free from fear, which relates to yesterday’s sermon. Pastor Jeanette spoke about Jesus calming the storm while he was on the boat with the disciples. She pointed out that Jesus didn’t tell them not to be afraid- fear is part of human nature; when we don’t understand our circumstances, we fear the end result, or the unknown. Instead, Jesus asked them why they were afraid. Why did the twelve let their fear rule them when Jesus was right there in the boat with them?

I asked myself this question this morning. I was feeling apprehension at the sheer size of the Silently Struggling 5k project finally becoming a reality. I’m afraid of failing in my attempt. I don’t want to make promises or set goals only to fail to attain them. Then I remembered yesterday’s sermon- Jesus is in my boat… so why fear? The answer to that question is simple; I was overwhelmed by the thought of constructing something so much larger than me on my own. But I don’t have to do it on my own. I emailed Pastor Jeanette, and she put me in contact with another woman in the church who was able to give me the right contacts of all the people and places I would need to get the ball rolling.

It’s times like that when I really feel the love of Christ- through other believers willing to reach out to me, and help me strive toward a bigger goal. That’s when Psalm 25:21 spoke to me. Integrity and uprightness will protect me BECAUSE my hope is in the Lord. I don’t have to worry about failure. God will work that out because I trust that he can and will. As long as my hope remains in God, and I continue to pursue Silently Struggling for the right reasons, and out of the proper ambition, then I truly believe that God will help me accomplish something spectacular through it.

I encourage you to visit the Silently Struggling blog at the link above. Please watch the video, “And Then They Came Home.” And let it break your heart like it broke mine. We can make a difference. The only thing separating success and failure is action.